The more you try to erase me.

Been searching recently.
For a lot of things.
Slowly adapting to life in SISPEC, apparently not fast enough. Searching for a motivation to get past every day. For some goal in going through the course. For some reason to not kill myself or break a limb or something.
Slowly rolling down a deep valley, faster than I would have liked it. Searching for somebody to confide in. Somebody who would listen to whatever I have to say. Somebody I'm comfortable with speaking too.
Slowly falling into a hole in the ground, watching silently as things and events go flying by. Searching for some glimmer of hope that there is someone out there.
Slowly drifting into the darkness, coupled with the despair of the knowing. Of the trials and turmoil that each day poses. Not just of the body, but of the mind as well. Searching for Judgement. Lest the cycle starts when yet another day begins.

Am I only being nice? Because I want someone, something?