Rant

Haven't been procrastinating for quite a long while I realized.

About love. I don't know. Maybe it's because I feel that, there isn't anybody worth making my feelings known to anymore.

The incident that got me to type this would have been big for me four years ago, when I was more sensitive to my own feelings. Since then, I've learned to shut myself out, but, maybe just this once.

I woke up this morning wondering what to do for today. As a NSmen, weekends and bookouts are a very important part of our lives. So, I sent a (oh no, I dallied for too long. Starting to think on her side of the fence.) message to her asking if she was free.

She said no.

Well, normally, this wouldn't have caused me any amount of distress. She's always busy and I've grown used to it. It's the usual, 'I'm quite busy recently. Not today. Some other day next week?' and something about me being so last minute.

It's the same everytime. I must admit, I do ask her out on a very last minute basis sometimes. But this time around, couldn't she have compromised a bit? I'm the one with the limited and fixed schedule here. I don't have a whole week to go out and do stuff. I have two days every week. But I guess it's true. She is the centre of the universe. Just like almost every other one of them.

Alright, the anger has died down. Resignation sinks in and I'm shelving it back again.